REVOLVER # 193 6/8/01-12/8/01

WEIRD SCIENCE by craig new

"OUT TO CHALLENGE THE VERY FABRIC OF THE IDEA OF MUSIC, AMERICAN METAL TWISTERS FANTOMAS BRING THEIR HORROR SHOW TO AUSTRALIA."

The rat is almost bigger than me. It's sitting there, its small off coloured tongue flicking languidly across fangs that would do a small dog proud. The cobbled stones under its scabbed, flea bitten haunches are moist with damp and moss, polluted liquid filth drips from the low ceiling and lands in an apathetic puddle beside me. The room is small, but not small enough to prevent the single bare bulb swinging soundlessly from casting shadows that dance and chase each other up the walls. In the background a soft and almost sinister melody is playing, the classic indication that something very, very wrong is about to happen. The rat senses it too, and knows that, being in these surrounds, the odds are stacked in its favour. I turn to run as that threatening lilt suddenly explodes into thunderous light, brutal and violent and pure, and as the door slams shut before my outstretched hand i know i am done for.

I awaken strapped to a cold, stainless steel medical table. A man stands over me, and the first thing i notice is his hair, an almost separate living thing that lounges across his scalp as if it is the one in charge. I recognise him as Buzz Osborne, demented guitarist with US supergroup Fantomas, as well as frontman for legendary weird rock outfit The Melvins. I am suddenly very, very afraid.

For the unititiated, Fantomas is the brainchild of former Faith no more and current Mr Bungle frontman Mike Patton, the man who somehow manages to continually release challenging and mind numbing music whilst remaining one of the most adored vocalists in rock history. As well as Buzz on guitar, thr rest of the group comprises of Trevor Dunn on bass, also of Mr Bungle, and one of the most revered and feared drummers in metal, Dave Lombardo, formerly of Slayer. Named after a famous pre world war 1 anti hero who got his kicks from performing the most appalling tortures on unsuspecting victims, Fantomas produce some of the most incredible aural assaults in existence, but still manage to keep on the right side of the fence between weird art and weird shit.

"I dont think its that weird myself, but compared to the rest of the world of music, its definately out there," Buzz considers as he circles my body picking up cruel looking tools with interest,"Its only because people dont have a very good idea what weird is. They're just basically shown things and are led by the hand to very easily consumed products, and i haven't been part of that world in a long time. I've either been doing strange music or listening to strange music for well over twenty years, my sense of normalcy is much differnt to the rest of the world!"

He laughs appreciatively."I've gotten shit from people about every single record i've ever done, i've never been involved in a record that was universally accepted, even by my own fans. It doesnt suprise me, none of that suprises me."

The new Fantomas album is sure to perpetuate the tradition. Entitled The Directors Cut, it features Fantomas interpretations of a number of film scores, with the bulk of the material taken from the horror genre. Themes such as Rosemarys Baby, Der Golem, The Omen, The Godfather, and Henry portrait of a serial killer are all performed with the Fantomas edge; that unnerving, unpredictable brutality only a mad genius could devise.

"When we were playing our regular set, we were breaking it up with a couple of songs that were soundtrack songs just for the hell of it, like Cape Fear and The Omen, and one of the Harry Mancini ones, just for kicks, as well as a Slayer medely that we used to do, and a song by Al Green. Those two didn't make it on the record. Then we just expanded on that idea to do a whole album of soundtracks," Buzz explains. "You just pick out ones you think can work under the context of what we do. It seemed to make sensse. I suppose we could make anything work. Mike decided what he thought would be the most efficient ones i guess, I don't know how else to put it."

Buzz seems to have settled on a rather evil looking instrument and is caressing it slowly, contemplating my body like a painter does a bare canvas. I decide to stall him and ask whether they have ever been approached to score for films themselves.

"No, never, I have never been approached to do any kind of soundtrack stuff that i've felt would be interesting at all, ever," he replies almost wistfully. "I'd love to do that obviously. If you listen to it, especially stuff I've been involved in, The Melvins stuff, it just seemed really obvious to me that alot of it would work exceptionally well with soundtracks. Unfortunately the world of soundtracks is basically, the golden era of it was probably thirty years ago when people obviously gave ashit about soundtrack music, and now they're basically just trying to sell their soundtrack record. Or the standard Rob Zombie, Limp Bizkit kind of stuff, they're not interested in quality. And what that comes down to me is that directors don't give a shit. That's what separates the men from the boys, it's a sound. The sound effects, the soundtrack, all of it. You're not going to find David Lynch-well he did work a little bit with Marilyn Manson, but god only knows you're not going to find him put whatever the newest, hippest thing is just to sell a soundtrack record. It's not going to happen."

Without warning he lunges forward and deftly opens a pocket in my abdomen, poking in a exploratory finger with curiosity. Through the blinding pain i can't help but admire his dexterity, a skill obviously learned onstage through attempting to make sense of the almost orchestrated mayhem that Fantomas somehow manage to pull off.

"It's much more difficult to play in Fantomas than it is in The Melvins. The Melvins is my baby, and Fantomas is Mike's, so it's like I have to play with a completely different kind of mindset. The Melvins' stuff comes from a much more neanderthal place, to a certain degree." He pauses to consider some kind of organ he has come across. "It's a shitload of work for me, I'm stressed to the utmost the entire time, it's really hard to stay focussed and keep it all together. Eye contact is essential for this band. No way around it. I couldn't pull this off without eye contact, no way! Those guys are all really good players, I can rely on them to be really good all of the time, so that just makes it that much easier. Everybody makes mistakes, but with this stuff there's not much margin for error. We can pull it off. It's hard. If somebody thinks we're up there having an easy go of it, they can try it! It's different for me in this band top to bottom, and I really appreciate that, and it's covering new musical ground for me. It's totally different to anything I've ever done, and still very, very interesting. It's challenging and difficult and hard for people to comprehend, but it's doing quite well with all those things considered, and I'm very, very happy with it."

Buzz seems bored with the slimy treasure he has extracted from my torso, and begins hunting around for a new position. I hastily bring up the subject of fans who just can't let go of the 'other bands' at a Fantomas show.

"Fans of The Melvins, they kind of know to expect weird things from me anyway, so they're not really too confused about this. The people who are confused are the down and dirty Slayer fans." he chuckles bemusedly. "They're usually the ones screaming the loudest ' what kind of bullshit is this?' Which is amazing to me because Lombardo plays everything he did in Slayer and more in this band. If I were a Dave Lombardo fan and i wanted to see him play Dave Lombardo riffs, this band is perfect for that, because he's expanded on his whole thing from Slayer, and doing something far more musical, as well as playing all that stuff. I mean it's heavy metal essentially, what we're doing, it's just got a wild twist to it."He stops for a second and winks devilishly. "If i was trying to confuse people, that would just be me being perverse. That would get boring and old really quickly. We actually like what we're doing."

That ominous music is building again, and Buzz has got a faraway look in his eye, a contented serenity that only a madman with a sharp instrument knows. As he starts digging into my skull he explains his plans for the future.

"The competion in the music field at the moment isn't very great. Who are we up against? Godsmack, or some of those other god awful nu-metal bands. We're doing a U.S tour, part of which is supporting Tool. Tool are great, they're one of the few bands that we would actually take a support spot for. Lots of bands have offered us those kinds of deals, and none of them have ever come through. Everybody from The Deftones to Limp Bizkit to Prdigy, none of which have panned out. They either didn't want to pay us the money, or they never called us back again. I don't give a shit, it's par for the course with dumb asses like that. Does it suprise you when somebody like Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit does something stupid? He's not capable of anything else. Although I have to say, I think that that solo record of that guitar player is pretty damn good. It's wacky, it's really fucking weird. It gives me hope. Not for Fred. Believe me, if I was them and I had that kind of bread I would have been out of there a long time ago."

The last thing I know that living hair is descending towards my bloodstreaked face, and the music is back to its pounding, obliterating annhiliation. Another victim of Fantomas bites the dust...