interview with Buzz

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I know there's been some discussion amongst people about who exactly is in the band these days and whether or not they're permanent members. Anything you can reveal?

Well, people are always discussing things. So far this year we have had Trevor Dunn, Dave Stone and Coady and Jarad from Big Business playing with us and it's safe to say that ALL of them will continue to play with us.

Is there any chance we'll get to see you or Dale appear on the next Big Business record? Is it possible that the two entities might just combine into one giant robotic mammoth of music?

Anything could happen. As for us appearing on the next Big Business record who knows? We could call ourselves Big Bisvins.

read more.....

Why have so many people passed through the doors of the Melvins? Are you guys terrible despots, maniacal drug addicts, German fecal porn enthusiasts....?

We kick people out. That's not to say we aren't drug addicts or shit eaters but what does our behind the scenes activities have to do with music?

Do you still keep up with departed members of the band?

Not at all. I do keep up with original drummer Mike Dillard but he didn't play bass. The rest of them are busy doing who knows what. I hope they are staying out of trouble.

How was the decision made to record your latest release, Houdini Live 2005? I understand that you became involved in a series of shows overseas in which you were asked to play the Houdini album in it's entireity. Was it seriously a matter of, "hell, we took the time to re-learn all these songs, may as well make a record out of it," or what?

That's pretty much it. I mean why not put it out as a record? I think it's better than the original. It was great to play with Mr. Dunn. Trevors a really good player and added a hell of a lot to what was already there. I knew he could do it and we were able to work on a lot of it on the Fantomas touring we did last year.

Is it too early to ask when you'll be doing another studio album?

We start recording July 1st.

With such a giant discography, which records would you recommend over others? Is there anything you've done that you'd flat out tell someone not to listen to?

I like all of our records but it's not like I listen to them much at all. That would be creepy. I really liked the Pigs of the Roman Empire record and if I had to listen to one of them today, that would be it.

Being in an influencial band from the once highly touted Seattle scene, why is it that you're still writing good and insane music while everyone else from that era has gone on to do total shit?

You tell me. It's not that hard really. I have no idea what motivates those people except maybe giant piles of cash, which is OK, I guess. I've never had anyone shoving big heaps of money my way so I really couldn't say what I would do if that ever happened. I'd probably take the cash as well.

Do you feel that the fact that you never achieved the commercial success of bands like Alice In Chains, Nirvana, or Soundgarden actually may have helped you retain sort of a more personalized artistic vision?

I guess, but I've never spent a lot of time thinking about it. You have to understand I never thought it would work "gold-album-wise" from the get-go. Dale and I are weird looking ugly creeps while all the front guys for those bands had a cute wounded "junkie" look that we could never have pulled off. For some reason chicks dig that sort of bullshit and so does MTV. I've never been able to figure out why women like what they do but generally when it comes to this sort of crap they seem to be totally vapid idiots. I honestly believe if Cobain, Cornell, and what's his face from Alice in Chains had looked like Fat Albert they wouldn't have sold ANY records.

So when do we get a new Venomous Concept album?

It's hard to say. Next year maybe?

Just a week or so ago, it was announced that there's another Fantomas album in the works. Any preliminary thoughts or ideas on the new record you'd like to share?

It's news to me but maybe you're right. My prediction is that we will be getting Rick Rubin to produce us and we will pay him seven million dollars.

the Melvins have a reputation for a general strangeness regarding your releases as well as even some of your merchandise. Whether it's dolls, canned meat, flowery cover art, Kiss-tribute releases....where do all these ideas come from?

I don't know. We do things we would like as fans and if we can be funny to some degree then all the better. Funny or stupid, it's a fine line.

Have you ever been dissappointed after trying to push an odd idea only to find out it just wouldn't be feasible? Tried making ten foot inflatable heads or something of that nature?

I've been plenty disappointed but not by OUR merch ideas. Why are the Melvins such a prevalent figure in the cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul? What is it about Minnesota that keeps you guys hanging out there all the time?

Nothing except Tom Hazelmyer. He used to run Amphetamine Reptile records so we've known him forever. He started doing shows at the bars he owns in Minneapolis and we joined in. He's a good guy and those gigs are always a blast.

Have you ever just sat around and stared off into space and thought, "holy fucking shit, Shirley Temple's daughter was in my band"?

I've sat around and stared off into space a ton but I've never had that thought. MAYBE she was Shirley's daughter or MAYBE it was all bullshit. It wasn't like Shirley ever came to a show of ours or handed over cash or did a photo shoot with us or got us involved in anything at all cool, so fuck it. Let me put it this way, Shirley had her hands full.

On the same line, have you ever stared off and thought, "holy fucking shit, Mudhoney was in the movie Black Sheep"?

Was Black Sheep a big deal? Maybe they got to do blow with Chris Farley or at least get hammered with him. I suppose his R.I.P. style drug use must have been wild to be around but as far as the movie goes I'd be more impressed if they were the band in the bar scene from Star Wars.

I read this awesome interview with you where you call Ozzy a "buck-toothed Mummy" and go off about Nashville Pussy. Then you talked about strangling a kid who had been giving you the finger at a Tool show. Have you ever experienced any negative repercussions by being so uninhibited in some of these interviews?

Ozzy's an easy target and pretty much a retard, so how hard can it be to make fun of him? As far as repercussions go, I'd imagine I have had things happen but I'm not aware of it. Does Ozzy really care or even know I exist? I seriously doubt it and I seriously doubt he would give a shit WHAT I think. Aside from having to deal with his money-grubbing hag wife and those god-awful spoiled brat kids I can't imagine Ozzy has much time for anything OTHER than getting loaded - and who can blame him? I was on OzzFest and I saw what I saw with my own eyes and if people want to pretend I didn't, that's not my fault. No one ever believes the truth about anything anyway so who cares really? One thing we did find out about recently was that Glen Danzig is all hacked off at us for our mockery of the Misfits Fiend Club shirts. He was pissed because we "stole his tee shirt design" which I find hilarious because HE stole it himself! Some one ripped off the shit he ripped off. Ha!

Is there anyone you'd like to use this interview to personally attack?


Having had ties with the guys from Nirvana, do you still have doe-eyed fans of theirs interrogating you about Kurt Cobain or what Dave Grohl eats on his pizza, or is it just moronic interviewers from random websites that you don't pay any attention to?

We still have a few people who are interested in our connection with Nirvana asking us questions, but it's no big deal. Most of them have already read the many, many, bullshit books written about those guys and have their minds made up in regards to how it all worked before they ever talk to me so it's a losing battle for us. The fans and the biographers seem to think they have it all figured out. So be it. Once again, I was there and they weren't, so what would I know?

What do you think Dave Grohl eats on his pizza?

Here's the weird part, I haven't spoken to Dave Grohl in fucking years. I'd say at LEAST ten. TEN YEARS! I have no idea what he's doing or why he's doing it. For all I know he could be moon-lighting as a goddamn cop. Maybe he hangs out at gay bars now or maybe he's into donkey porn. Who knows? I am WAY off the A-list when it comes to Nirvana and company's inside news or business. Dave and Chris don't speak to me and believe it or not, neither does Courtney Love. What a surprise.

Why are Mike Patton's fans so fucking crazy?

Crazy? Do you mean why are they crazy enough to buy his records? I don't know.

What's your view on Tool? I know you're pretty close with some of those guys, but I'm just confused. I'm not talking about their music, but really, their morphing image. How did they go from this band who was writing mock-satanic/industrial songs with cookie recipe lyrics in German to this band with Alex Grey cover art and drumkits arranged in sacred geometric patterns? Is it just a big joke, or what? Do the members of Tool around and smoke DMT, talking about Yosemite Sam's hat and how it was inspired by Jack Parson's delvings into inter-dimensional time travel laws as governed by the Kabbalah's input on fractals and the golden ratio and aklfasfdlsadfkjhfasdk.

Morphing image? They look about the same to me. Those guys have always been into hippie shit. I think on this next tour they are even going to have a giant crystal dangling over the stage, and I don't mean crystal meth! They once told me how Slayer was giving them shit on an Ozzfest tour about Tool not being a heavy metal band which I thought was pretty funny. Imagine it, a bunch of shorts wearing "satanic" banana brains like Slayer giving Tool shit. Talk about stupid imagery.

Having met and being acquainted with so many iconic figures, is there anyone who stands out as someone who ended up being completely different than how you imagined them? Anyone who you were really nervous to meet?

Hmmm...I wanted to meet Nick Kent but that never happened. He interviewed Tomahawk once while we were touring with them and all he wanted to do was ask Patton questions about Faith No More. Great. When I met Timmothy Leary I was surprised by how totally scatter brained he was. This is a guy who went to fucking West Point and I could hardly understand what the hell he was talking about. Stay away from LSD, kids. I met a super uncomfortable Tim Robbins at a show we did with Biafra and he barely said a word. I couldn't figure out why he was even there. I'm guessing it maybe has to do with Biafra being involved in some of Mr. Robbins political mumbo-jumbo, but who knows? Unfortunately, I never got to ask him what he thought of the Team America movie.

What other bands would you suggest people who are into the Melvins research further into?

God, lots of stuff. If I had to pick I'd say Flipper and Napalm Death.

Lastly, what bands of the last five years are you personally into?

Black Heart Procession, The Locust and Kill Me Tomorrow.

I'd like to thank you for doing this interview. You guys are a fucking criminally underrated band and I'm grateful for you taking the time to respond and answer these questions.

Thank YOU!