Buzz interview

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There are few musicians as legendary as Buzz Osbourne so Planet Loud decided to play a little game of Q & A with the man himself and find out such crucial answers as whether he prefers smooth or chunky peanut butter.

Planet Loud - What’s going on today Buzz? The Melvins - It's like 10 am and I'm drinking coffee.

Planet Loud - Thanks for taking the time. I’m the guy from Montana who interviewed you last May when “Suspended Animation’ had just come out. We’re still waiting for The Melvins - to tear it up in the Big Sky again. The Melvins - I'm thinking sometime before the end of the year.

Planet Loud - Where are you as you read this e-mail interview? The Melvins - I'm at home in Hollywood.

Planet Loud - What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of doing interviews through e-mail? The Melvins - I like e-mail interviews because I don't have to do them all at once, like I could take a break and shoot pool or go to the movies. Actually it would be the movies because I never shoot pool.

Planet Loud - Would you consider yourself a digital or analog man? The Melvins - It makes no difference to me. CD's take up less space than records so fuck records.

Planet Loud - When you guys first decided to record “Houdini” live, were there any songs that you were looking forward to dusting off and playing again? The Melvins - It was kind of hard to work out HOW we would do some of them but no big deal.

Planet Loud - In the process of playing these tunes all consecutively, was there ever a time when you thought to yourself “˜damn, this is a good album’? The Melvins - I'm pretty much always thinking to myself what a genius I am. Sometimes I stand outside and scream it but the neighbor kids then start shooting me with their BB guns. I should burn down their fucking house the little bastards.

Planet Loud - Why did you change the song list for the live album? The Melvins - Why not? People already have the original album and I can't even remember why we put the songs in that order in the first place. We should have put Spread Eagle Beagle first.

Planet Loud - “Houdini” is a classic, must-have rock album. Is it your hope that people will check out the live album and discover the original version, or is this more of a gift to die-hard Melvins fans who already knew the album front to back? The Melvins - I think everyone should buy buy buy the live record as well as everything else we have ever done. Actually I think the new live record is better than the original.

Planet Loud - Trevor’s a stellar addition to the mix on bass. Is he going to be a permanent (whatever that means) addition to the band? The Melvins - Trevor's a dick. Well, not really a dick, more of a totally cool guy. We WISH Trevor could join us for real but he said he couldn't be bothered.

Planet Loud - Looking back so far on the long and winding road The Melvins - have taken through the years, if it all ended today, what would be your legacy? The Melvins - I never got to shoot smack with Perry Ferrel or bone Courtney Love. I'm the only person who never got to do that.

Planet Loud - If they made a movie about The Melvins - who would play you and who would play Dale? The Melvins - I'd be Clint Eastwood and Dale would be Sly Stallone.

Planet Loud - I’m going to list some words. Tell me what’s the first thing you think about when you read each one. Planet Loud - Mullet The Melvins - fishy haircut

Planet Loud - Brokeback The Melvins - broke dick

Planet Loud - Surreal The Melvins - Montana

Planet Loud - Which do you prefer ““ basketball or ping pong? Why? The Melvins - I HATE basketball. Actually I hate all sports except baseball, ping pong included. I do sort of like bowling though. Basketball is a sport for dip shits who can't understand the complexities and genius of baseball.

Planet Loud - Mackie’s visions have provided fans with some of the coolest album covers and inserts of all time. Some are brilliantly basic and others are complex and groundbreaking. This past Tool album is completely amazing. In some cases, album art can be just as memorable as the music. How important is it to you to have catchy art with the music? The Melvins - Nothing is more important than the music. Some bands need a lot of smoke and mirrors to hide the fact that they are pretty boring.

Planet Loud - Since this is an e-mail interview, I’m including one of those annoying forms that people e-mail to find out quirky little things about their friends. Here goes Planet Loud - What is your full name? The Melvins - King Buzzo

Planet Loud - What color of trousers are you wearing right now? The Melvins - I'm not wearing trousers, so skin color. In my case, white.

Planet Loud - What are you listening to right now? The Melvins - The incessant beeping of a Global Tracking System.

Planet Loud - What are the last 2 digits of your phone number? The Melvins - 66

Planet Loud - What is the last thing you ate? The Melvins - An apple.

Planet Loud - If you were a crayon what color would you be? The Melvins - Gold.

Planet Loud - How is the weather right now? The Melvins - Very nice.

Planet Loud - Last person you talked to on the phone: The Melvins - Dan Raymond.

Planet Loud - First thing you notice about the opposite sex: The Melvins - Booty.

Planet Loud - How are you feeling right now? The Melvins - I have to take a piss. Just a sec....... OK then.

Planet Loud - Favorite drink: The Melvins - Coffee.

Planet Loud - Favorite alcoholic drink: The Melvins - Alcohol makes me break out in bandages.

Planet Loud - Favorite sport to play: The Melvins - Ping pong

Planet Loud - Hair color: The Melvins - Grey.

Planet Loud - Eye color: The Melvins - Shit brown.

Planet Loud - Do you wear contacts? The Melvins - No and I don't trust anyone who does.

Planet Loud - Favorite month: The Melvins - April.

Planet Loud - Favorite food: The Melvins - Yes

Planet Loud - Last movie you watched: The Melvins - Night of the Iguana

Planet Loud - Favorite day of the year: The Melvins - April 20th

Planet Loud - Summer or winter: The Melvins - For what?

Planet Loud - Hugs or kisses: The Melvins - Just keep your distance.

Planet Loud - Chocolate or vanilla: The Melvins - Vanilla.

Planet Loud - Living arrangements: The Melvins - Keep your mits off of my stuff.

Planet Loud - What is on your mouse pad? The Melvins - Charlie Tuna.

Planet Loud - Favorite board game: The Melvins - Chess.

Planet Loud - What did you do last night? The Melvins - Went and saw the Dodgers destroy the Angels 16 to 3.

Planet Loud - Favorite smell: The Melvins - The smell of gold.

Planet Loud - Can you touch your nose with your tongue? The Melvins - None of your business.

Planet Loud - What inspires you?: The Melvins - Shitty music.

Planet Loud - Buttered, plain or salted popcorn: The Melvins - Yes.

Planet Loud - Favorite Flower: The Melvins - Rose.

Planet Loud - What is the first thing you think when you wake up? The Melvins - Drink coffee and then blast one down the hopper.

Planet Loud - Do you still talk to your best friend from high school? The Melvins -Yes, all the time.

Planet Loud - Pets: The Melvins - Dogs dogs and more dogs.

Planet Loud - Play or Opera: The Melvins - I'm not a big fan of either.

Planet Loud - Have you ever fired a gun? The Melvins - Yes but never really AT anyone.

Planet Loud - Do you like travel by plane? The Melvins - I hate flying. It's the only industry that takes your money and then doesn't have to deliver.

Planet Loud - Smooth peanut butter or chunky peanut butter? The Melvins - Yes.

Planet Loud - How many pillows do you sleep with? The Melvins - Two.

Planet Loud - City you were born in: The Melvins - Packwood.

Planet Loud - What do you drive? The Melvins - Late model LTD.

Planet Loud - Do you stay in touch with your old friends as often as you would like? Planet Loud - Only the ones I like.

Planet Loud - Last person you received e-mail from and enjoyed it?: The Melvins - Dan Raymond.

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